We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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