Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
