Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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