so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
