Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
