You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
