Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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