I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
