Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
