I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
