who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize