i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
