remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
