Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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