Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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