I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
