I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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