Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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