I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
false alarm, still single
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
