it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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