I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
