Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize