You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
