In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The air was thick with penises
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize