I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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