I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
