i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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