Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
