A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
