so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He did a backflip because drugs
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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