i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
