By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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