super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
