I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
