goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
