dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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