so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
