apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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