i think my mom watched the whole time
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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