Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
