Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
