I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dear god my vagina.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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