conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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