I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
