He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize