Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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