in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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