You really coming over, don't trick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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