Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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