I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
