CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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