The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
