Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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