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Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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