Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
