So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
