dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
