therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I understand Curling. That high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
