That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Damn victory sex feels great
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
