how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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