Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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