I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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