used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
